Interview with a Bleach character
by Yoruhana Kurotsuki
Summary: Interview with a Bleach character. featuring me asking people random questions
1. Ichigo Kurosaki

**Interview with Ichigo Kurosaki**

Me: Hey there! My name is Ali. Welcome to the first of my Bleach character interviews! I hope you're excited because I am! Yay. Ok, let's invite our first guest...Ichigo Kurosaki!

Ichigo: *Walks onto the stage with scowl on his face* Why do I have to be first? Why do I have to do this?

Me: Because your the main character, silly!

Ichigo: o.O...ok then...

Me: Ok, lets get started. So first of all...how do you feel about Rukia?

Ichigo: *blushes* ...wait! You're asking those questions?

Me: *sigh* Is there a problem with that?

Ichigo: Shouldn't interviews usually start with stuff like "Whats your favourite colour?" or "Do you enjoy being a shinigami?"

Me: I'm not the type to waste my time...and _I'm _the one who's going to asking the questions here!

Ichigo: Well, what if I dont want to answer? *throws hands in the air* I never wanted to come to thus stupid interview. What are you going to do to me if I don't answer? Tie me down in this chair?

Me: Again with the questions...but tying you down does seem like a good idea...though I only bought duct tape for these interviews...

Ichigo: *sweatdrop* somehow, I find you are scarier than even Yachiru.

Me: Yachiru isn't scary! She's adorable!

Ichigo: both of you don't realize how creepy both of you guys are.

Me: Maybe I should get Yachiru in for an interview...

Ichigo: ...can I leave now?

Me: No. *reaches for duct tape*

Ichigo: o.O

Me: can I call you "Ichi-nii"?

Ichigo: why? You're not my sister.

Me: I think it's cute!

Ichigo: no.

Me: *pouts then reachs for the duct tape again* please?

Ichigo: fine...

Me: the power of duct tape *smile*

Ichigo: ...

Me: Anyways, how do you feel about Rukia?

Ichigo: *blushs again* ...well, I...like her...as a friend...

Me: Only as a friend?

Ichigo: *nods*

Me: that sure explains the blush...*rolls eyes*

Ichigo: shut up!

Me: *grins wickedly* Ok, next question! Have you ever been called "mentally insane" for being able to see spirits?

Ichigo: No, because I'm not stupid enough to tell anyone about it.

Me: Not at all?

Ichigo: No. Though I think you're mentally insane.

Me: *smiles sweetly* I already knew that, but thanks for reminding me.

Ichigo: ...

Me: Don't you think it's weird that Rukia slept in your closet for so long?

Ichigo: Yah, but apparently she doesn't find it abnormal.

Me: And you don't mind?

Ichigo: Of course I do!

Me: I bet you secretly enjoyed it...are you sure you didn't do anything to her?

Ichigo: What the hell are you getting at?

Me: *looks away innocently* Oh nothing...

Ichigo: how many more questions are there left?

Me: Two more. Everyone gets five. I was going to make it twenty questions but that would have been a pain in the ass.

Ichigo: Thank god it's only five...

Me: Ok next question! How do you feel about all the yaoi (A/N: yaoi basically means gay, if you didnt know) pairings about you?

Ichigo: What? With who? I'm not interested in guys!

Me: aren't you quick to reply...Well, Im pretty sure there's HichigoXIchigo, RenjiXIchigo, UryuXIchigo, GrimmjowXIchigo and even some ToshiroXIchigo. you kinda brought the yaoi thing on yourself though, with the whole "take it off" scene with Renji.

Ichigo: I was referring to his gigai...

Me: Well, there are lots of misunderstandings in life...and death.

Ichigo: ok then...

Me: ok, last question. What do you think of Kon and what he does in your body?

Ichigo: Isn't it obvious? I hate it!

Me: but you know, *evil grin* you could always kiss Rukia and blame it on Kon...

Ichigo: *blushs* ...

Me: Well, I guess that wraps it up for tonight...thanks Ichigo. I luv ya!

Ichigo: ok then...creepy...

Me: I don't own Bleach...blah blah blah...I only own the type you use to clean your clothes with.

Ichigo: Can't you think of anything smarter to say? You've said that line in your first two fanfics too.

Me: * crosses arms* well, this is only my third fanfic so don't expect me to come up with some witty disclaimer!

Ichigo: can I go now?

Me: Fine...sorry I scared you Ichi-nii...see you later. Theres coffee in th waiting room.

Ichigo: Is it poisoned or drugged?

Me: Of course not!

Ichigo: ...*sweatdrop*

Me: Anyways, next up is the lovely Rukia Kuchiki!


	2. Rukia Kuchiki

**Interview with Rukia Kuchiki**

Me: Hello! Welcome back to interviews with a Bleach character. I'm Ali and today our guest is Rukia Kuchiki!

Rukia: *walks on stage and sits down* Ichigo told me you were scarier than Yachiru, which by the way was extremely hard to imagine. You don't look that bad.

Me: Ichi-nii was just exaggerating. I'm not_**that**_ evil.

Rukia: Ichi-nii?

Me: That's the nickname I gave him.

Rukia: Ok then. He told me that you had duct tape…

Me: I do. *smiles sweetly*

Rukia: *eyes go wide* um…

Me: Oh, but don't worry *waves hand back and forth*…it's for fixing stuff backstage. You know, duct tape fixes everything…*laughs awkwardly*

Rukia: Ok then…*points at rope by my feet* then what's the rope for? Ichigo said you didn't have any…

Me: Oh, I just got some. It was Ichi-nii's idea.

Rukia: *sweat drop*…

Me: Ok! Enough chit-chat! Let's get started! How do you feel about Ichi-nii?

Rukia: He's a good friend.

Me: That's all?

Rukia: Why do you ask?

Me: Well, because Ichi-nii had a completely different reaction when I asked him "what do you think of Rukia?" It makes me sad to think that his love was one sided all along *dramatically puts hand on forehead*

Rukia: *leans forward in chair* what did he do?

Me: He blushed like crazy. It was so cute! *sqeals*

Rukia: *blushs* …

Me: *giggles* Now you're blushing too!

Rukia: Next question please…

Me: Fine *pouts*, how do you feel about Hat n' Clogs hiding the Hogyoku inside you?

Rukia: Hat n' Clogs?

Me: my nickname for Urahara-san

Rukia: Ok then.

Me: So…?

Rukia: Well, I obviously don't like it.

Me: *frowns* but then you would have never met Ichigo! And you would've been stuck with the Red Pineapple *shudder*!

Rukia: What's wrong with Renji?

Me: *laughs* Nothing…though it entertains me that you immediately associated "Red Pineapple" with Renji.

Rukia: I wasn't thinking of his head! I swear! I just remembered that he had a shirt with "red pineapple" written on it (A/N: Bleach 134, I think)!

Me: sure you didn't…anyways, I really think having that Hogyoku in you made the story just that much better.

Rukia: I'm not going to thank Aizen for that.

Me: …

Rukia: …

Me: *claps hands together* Ok! Next question!

Rukia: Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated?

Me: That's the point of this interview *smiles sweetly and picks up rope just in case*…anyways, who do you like better: the Seaweed Ambassador or Chappy?

Rukia: Chappy of course. She's just so much cuter, though I fully respect my brothers Seaweed Ambassador.

Me: Agreed. The Seaweed Ambassador looks like that poop person in Captain Underpants or whatever.

Byakuya: *From backstage* Scatter, Senbonzakura…

Me: Yikes! Commercial break NOW!

* * *

><p>Me: Ok we're back. Looks like I'll need LOTS of band-aids when I interview Byakuya-taichou (AN: taichou means captain).

Rukia: That was a close one…if you hadn't had your Zanpakuto (A/N: I have an ice-based Zanpakutou. My shikai: Kagetsuki. My bankai: Mugetsu) with you…you would be shreds by now…

Me: Yep. Thanks Kage-chan! I guess I'm just luh-luh-luh-lucky! *gets up and starts doing Ikkaku's Lucky Dance*

Rukia: *sweatdrop* Can we continue please?

Me: Ok. *sits back down in chair* what is your opinion on juice boxes (A/N: Bleach episode 2…I think?)?

Rukia: They're so hard but the juice you suck out of it is really good…

Me: *tries to suppress laughter*

Rukia: What?

Me: *burst into laughter* Oh nothing…just my teenage brain being a teeny bit perverted…it's all Kon's fault.

Rukia: *eye twitches* Ok then…

Me: Anyways…last question…why did you cut your hair when you made another appearance in the "Substitue Shinigami (A/N: You guys should all know this but I'll write this anyways. Shinigami means Death god or Soul Reaper) Arc?"

Rukia: No particular reason...but I am curious why your hair is exactly the same as mine…

Me: I cut my hair before those chapters even came out! _**You**_ were the one who copied my hair!

Rukia: …

Me: Are you sure you didn't cut your hair for Ichigo? Maybe he likes you better this way…

Rukia: I'm sure.

Me: Fine those are all the questions this time…Next up is our amazing Gin Ichimaru! Yay!

Rukia: Did you think of a new disclaimer?

Me: *glares a Rukia* No! So what? Bleach doesn't belong to me…blah blah blah…I only own the type you use to clean your clothes with…

Rukia: You should think of a new one…Do I get some not drugged/poisoned coffee?

Me: Sure…Please review! And if you have any questions for any Bleach characters that I haven't interviewed or any suggestions of who I should interview…please put them in the reviews thanks!


End file.
